July 16, 2012
Niiiiice play McDonalds, nice play.

I don’t know about you, but I haven’t needed any more reasons to not patronize McDonald’s for a decade. Now, I wish I’d been a faithful and loyal customer for years just so I could take it all away because of THIS HORSESHIT.

Read it first.

Okay, WHAT THE FLYING FUCK Mickey D’s? I need to ask you a serious question.

Mr McDonalds, are you at least smarter than Grimace?

No sir, you are not. You are fucking dumb, plain and simple.

This, in all reality, would not have been a “McDonald’s is horrible” story if in the aftermath Dr. Mann had been able to contact and work with McDonald’s to settle the situation, it would have just been a case of “Goddamn, those three guys are assholes. Remind me to learn some horrifying French insults, so when I go there I can address them appropriately.” But, after all that, how does a worldwide, multi-billion dollar, corporation AND “American icon” ignore this situation? How do they ignore it from anyone, though that answer is easy; cause they’re rich and big and you are not. But how do they ignore all of this when it happened to a man who is the father of a new generation of technology? How do the big guys keep underestimating the internet?

Dr. Mann is like king nerd, if the internet had royalty he’d have his shit locked down. The internet loves smart, technologically innovative, cultured people who communicate well. They can win all the time (The Oatmeal proved this and he didn’t even invent a technology, he’s just smart and a good communicator with the internet generations). SO WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU NOT HANDLE THIS GRIEVOUS SITUATION GENEROUSLY AND QUIETLY?

OK, I can’t boycott Mickey Dickey’s more than I already do. So please, post this somewhere, share it with somebody, and don’t eat another McFlurry until they remedy the situation.

9:11pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZlGJIyPVWv6R
Filed under: McDonalds McDonalds hates science and technology McDonalds supports customer attacks McDonalds All Beef IN YOUR FACE 
July 12, 2012

Oh, is that all it takes?

Now, how do I catch a Wombat ?

8:07pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZlGJIyPERsi1
(Notes: 1)
  
Filed under: brb going to Australia with my shopping bag 
July 10, 2012
XKCD Answers What If's... Even Better Than Farnsworth's Machine!

7:23pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZlGJIyP5ZIgS
July 2, 2012
Internet Declaration of Independence

I think it’s easy to forget how pivotal these times are; we’re tweeting, tumbling, and redditing amongst the formation of history.

Imagine a declaration of freedoms, a list of undeniable rights on the most open form of communication in the world. A work created, compiled and decided by the people of the world. Just attempting something like that is revolutionary.

10:40pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZlGJIyOb6ko9
Filed under: fuck it im serious this shit is gonna be historical 
June 28, 2012

for bonus points:

Start this video and the naked superman video at the same time. Mute and watch the naked superman video with this Gorillaz song in the background.

(Start them as simultaneously as possible, but if one after the other, go Gorillaz first then video)

I’m loving it.

11:20pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZlGJIyOKlX6M
(Notes: 1)
  
Filed under: audio accompaniment 
June 28, 2012

Being naked gives you super powers.

Check.

9:55pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZlGJIyOKQexZ
(Notes: 7)
  
Filed under: crazy videos streaker tazers so many tazers 
June 27, 2012
timpangburn: Here’s one of the tattoos I did for TLC’s “Worst Tattoos in America” special.  http://timpangburn.com this is a primo example of why he is the king of cover ups. cause not only is the final product awesomefucksauce, but the transition phase is like the future badass shark is eating the soon to be covered up smarmy bunny. 

timpangburn:

Here’s one of the tattoos I did for TLC’s “Worst Tattoos in America” special. 

http://timpangburn.com

this is a primo example of why he is the king of cover ups. cause not only is the final product awesomefucksauce, but the transition phase is like the future badass shark is eating the soon to be covered up smarmy bunny. 

1:38am  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZlGJIyOCnqd_
(Notes: 15)
  
June 26, 2012
A bit about Tumblr I will never understand…

Why people answer anons that upset/offend/annoy/enrage/ and/or degrade them.

If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around, does it make a sound?

Yes. A loud, crunching one probably.

BUT if an anon insults on a tumblr and no one else ever sees it 

BECAUSE YOU JUST DELETE IT INSTEAD OF PUBLISHING IT

does it make a difference?

Nope.

In this world there are about a million ways someone can insult or mock or disrespect you in front of people in an attempt to enrage, humiliate, or discredit you. But when a person - who can’t even display their username - makes that attempt on Tumblr, the only way it even counts as an attempt, the only way anything they said is ACTUALLY SAID [as far as the rest of the world is concerned] is if you publish it.

In a fight, is it more effective to punch back or eliminate the existence of the attack entirely?

Responding is punching back.

Deleting the message and moving on about your day is like pulling some Dr. Manhattan crap and VWOOSH vanishing the attack into thin air, silent and unseen.

Do the right thing, cause I don’t give a shit what your anonymous haters have to say.

9:48pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZlGJIyOBwG1z
(Notes: 5)
  
June 26, 2012
Sometimes I let what’s on the top of my brain slide out, and it usually something like this…

Garden Gnomes are often known to disagree, most vehemently, with the laws and accords passed by the Boars and, really, can you blame them?

The Boars are known for being most piggish in the writing and drafting, as well as the passing and enforcement of their laws. Of course, humans don’t often concern themselves with these issues as even the smallest amongst them walks above the laws of Boars, but I implore you

nay, I dare you

to consider what it must be like to walk a mile in the Garden Gnome’s shoes…

Besides taking a really long fucking time. Seriously, their feet are like _______ < that big.

The Garden Gnome doesn’t walk above the laws of many a creature, but is oppressed most specifically by the Boars. In fact, even conservative experts estimate that 65% of Boar laws enacted each year are directed at the oppression and subjugation of the Garden Gnome community. Timothy Barthenon, head Boar of the P.I.G. Squad (Policing Insubordinate Gnomes) would have you believe that the Gnomes are actually diabolical and are constantly reneging on a millennium-old agreement regarding mushrooms, specifically truffles. Allegedly, the Gnomes steal, hide and hoard all the mushrooms and truffles they can find and then try to sell them back to members of the Suidae family at costly prices.

These allegations are ENTIRELY FALSE.

Gnomes are honest, hardworking, austere and fair… and oppressed. By those pigs. Damn Pigs.

Let’s get ‘em. I want some Gnome Oppressing Bacon Laying In Nutella.

GOBLIN it’s what’s for dinner.

This PSA sponsored by Travelocity and Germdale’s Mushroom & Truffle Emporium over in Ms. Rosenfield’s petunia patch.


1:09am  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZlGJIyO8JpzJ
(Notes: 2)
  
Filed under: flash fictionesque original weird shit i write off the top of my head and if you assumed 'Germdale' was a gnome then you are a racist 
May 25, 2012

i’m really glad people like this exist.

11:31pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZlGJIyM98RaO
(Notes: 8)
  
Filed under: proposal video incredibly sweet not a CRV viral campaign we checked 
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